To Tell or Not to Tell?
Being Open About your Breast Augmentation
The decision to have breast augmentation surgery is very personal. While some women are comfortable being totally open about their surgery, others are not. A lot of women are very selective when it comes to revealing their decision to have breast augmentation. Unfortunately, not everyone views breast augmentation in a positive light. Breasts are seen as sexual objects. Often times, people will make the assumption that anyone undergoing breast augmentation must be doing it for attention, or they want to look like a “stripper” or “porn star”, or they’re trying to hold on to their partner, etc. These are very narrow minded points of view, but even in this modern age, there are people that still feel this way.
On the other hand, friends and family can be extremely supportive, and they are great to lean on while you are recovering. Most of the time, even if they don’t agree with your surgery, you will still get their support.
Each situation is unique. You may have certain family members, friends, coworkers, etc., that you are comfortable telling, and there may some that you are not comfortable telling. Ultimately, this is a judgment call that you have to make based on your own situation. The information provided here in this page provides some insight that will be helpful to you.
Do I HAVE to Tell Anyone?
Of course you don’t have to tell anyone. Maybe you don’t want to explain to your in-laws that you’re getting your breasts enlarged. That’s certainly understandable, particularly if you have a strained relationship with them and/or you are not close with them. Maybe your mother is against plastic surgery, and you don’t want to hear anything negative. Maybe your best friend has small breasts she has always been insecure about, and you’re afraid she will be jealous, or that maybe she will feel even more insecure. Maybe you’re not worried about anyone being unsupportive, maybe you just don’t want to have to explain such a personal decision to anyone. Whatever your reason, you aren’t required to tell anyone that you don’t want to tell.
Not telling anyone is great in the aspect of not having to worry about anyone trying to talk you out of having surgery, or just being unsupportive in general. Unfortunately, there are some downsides to consider, though how much of a “downside” they are will be unique to your individual situation and relationships.
Not telling anyone about your surgery means that your surgery will be a secret. It means that if something were to go wrong during surgery (which isn’t likely, but it is possible), your family may need to be told. This would not be a good way for them to find out. Again, while this scenario is highly unlikely, it should be considered, as family members may feel hurt and “left out” if they found out about your surgery under bad circumstances. If you don’t tell your best friends, or other close friends, they may feel hurt, and they may feel as if you don’t trust them, which could cause issues. In the end, you have to do what you feel most comfortable doing based on your wants and needs.
Unless you’ve been wearing a great padded bra for a long time, including padded bikinis (if your family/friends have seen you in a swimsuit), people will likely notice that your breasts are larger. In clothing that doesn’t show cleavage, you can always chalk your new breast size up to a great padded bra. When more revealing attire is worn, it can be quite a bit more challenging to explain away the increase in size.
I’m Going to Tell My Family and/or Friends
For some women, the thought of this is nothing short of terrifying. The idea of the judgement that may come in the wake of being so open and honest can be very unnerving. You may get a lot of support, and you may get some negativity. However, the upside to telling everyone is that you don’t have to worry about keeping secrets, lying, being “found out”, etc. Another thing this option affords you is the ability to wear the clothes you want to wear without having to try to “hide” your new breast size. After all, breast augmentation costs thousands of dollars. It isn’t much fun to spend that kind of money, only to have to worry about someone noticing.
Unless you only go up a cup size or so, your new breast size will be noticeable when you wear swimsuits, form-fitting clothing, and anything that shows cleavage. You may say, “Well, I’m just going to let them wonder.” That is perfectly fine. However, when you leave something to imagination, it tends to make people talk about it more. It can also give the impression that you’re embarrassed or ashamed of your decision to get breast implants. Even if that isn’t true, people can perceive it that way. By being open and honest with family/friends about your decision, you get their reactions, good or bad, out of the way, and they will, basically, get over it and move on. You basically take the wind out of their sails, so to speak.
(While many women could care less what anyone else thinks, there are some that do care, and this page is primarily for those women.)
Small Town, USA
If you live in a part of the country where breast augmentation is commonplace, such as Los Angeles, breast augmentation isn’t a big deal. If you live in Small Town, USA, breast augmentation can big news. In your excitement, you may, without giving much thought to it beforehand, tell people about your surgery. Unfortunately, you may regret it later. There’s really no point in telling your next door neighbor, the mom you’ve just become acquainted with at your child’s soccer game, or your pastor’s wife, unless you truly don’t mind everyone knowing about your surgery (which is great!).
If you are in a relationship, you will obviously share your decision to get breast augmentation with your partner. Sometimes, as the surgery date draws nearer, partners can begin to feel a little insecure. This isn’t uncommon, and it does pass. The best thing to do, should this occur in your situation, is to be reassuring.
Obviously, this is something to consider. However, unless you wear form-fitting clothes or cleavage-bearing clothes to work, you can probably get away with not telling anyone. Breast implants can be hidden rather easily in just about any clothing that isn’t body-hugging.
As for your boss, you may feel that you have to disclose your decision to get breast implants in order to get time off of work, but you don’t have to reveal anything. Many women simply use vacation time, or they say that they’re hurt their back (which also explains your more “ginger” movements upon returning to work). Some women simply tell their supervisor that they are having a minor surgery, and when asked what kind, they respond “female surgery,” which the vast majority of people will not inquire about, as “female surgery” goes hand in hand with “personal” and “it’s none of your business.”
Children are much easier to deal with, believe it or not. You have a lot of options. If your children are extremely young (toddlers), you don’t have to tell them anything. If they are older, school-aged children, they may notice. One option in this case, if you’d like to avoid telling them about your surgery, is to wear loose-fitting clothes, and gradually begin to wear more and more form-fitting clothes. This is a way of “easing” your kids into your new size. Even the brightest kids can be tricked by this.
If you are worried about how you will explain your recovery (the discomfort, the slow movements, etc.), you can tell them that you hurt your back, or that you pulled some muscles in your chest, or something along those lines. This usually works like a charm.
If you have tweens or teenagers, it may be more difficult. You will likely have to come clean with them. However, you don’t necessarily have to say that you’re getting breast implants. You could tell them that you’re getting a breast lift instead. While no one wants to lie to their children, sometimes it’s better, particularly if you are worried that your child will tell his or her friends at school, who may tell their parents, and so on.
Women often worry about how their daughters will view their own bodies if they find out their mother is getting breast implants. They also worry about how their sons will view women’s bodies in general. The most important thing here is to not make your daughers and/or sons feel as though small breasts are unattractive. The last thing any mother wants to do is give their own daughter an inferiority complex when it comes to their body image. And women certainly don’t want to inadvertantly teach their sons that only larger breasts are attractive.
When telling older kids, you have the option of telling them that you are restoring your breasts to their pre-pregnancy shape and size. In general, teens aren’t going to want to talk about mom’s breasts, so they aren’t likely to ask too many questions.